THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT.

(Milwaukee Journal Sentinel)

(Frazer Chronicle)

 

I’ve heard of anal retentive, but golly gee, I never knew the term could be a part of law enforcement procedure. Live and learn I always say, seems as if the Milwaukee, Wisconsin police department routinely used a practice of touch and sniff in their search for illicit drugs. You could knock me over with a feather or a piece of toilet paper in this instance.

 

I’m talking about a former 34 year old Milwaukee police officer who preformed illegal strip and body cavity searches on dozens of suspected drug dealers or users. Michael Vagnini pleaded no contest to four felonies and four misdemeanor counts stemming from his practice of fingering men’s anuses in his complete searching procedure…..on the streets of Milwaukee!

 

Guess you could call the streets of Milwaukee really mean streets, and not be abusing the term. Attorney Michael Steinle told the court that his client, Vagnini was left holding the bag, and I don’t mean the colostomy bag either. Steinle was probably referring to three other officers who are charged along with his client for the same shenanigans, or…..the fickle finger of fate!

 

Jeffrey Dollhopf, Brian Kozelek, and Jacob Knight have had their cases separated from Vagnini because they face fewer charges. Charges include misconduct in office and being parties to the crime of illegal searches, based on their on-duty presence when Vagnini committed some of the searches.

 

The three are suspended with pay pending their trials later this year…..kind of like a paid summer vacation, paid for by the taxpayers of Wisconsin. I remember a time when I was suspended for a week…..without pay for insubordination, and was told by my punk boss to find alternative employment. I really suffered over understand not my firing, but the term, (alternative), it just didn’t seem to fit coming from a guy who’s first name was Norb.

 

It’s always kind of strange and humorous at the same time to me, when judges, prosecutors, police officials or news sources covering what could only be called bizarre behavior, shocks people. No city, no matter the size, has access to cable television, and the USA TODAY, or those nasty Tabloids, what’s the surprise.

 

A GIFT

Benevolence is usually ready to be considered whenever a cop is brought up on charges, and the Vagnini case is no different. Assistant District Attorney Miriam Falk agreed to dismiss sexual assault charges as part of a plea deal. Falk made it clear yesterday that she believes that the offense occurred…..repeatedly, but that Vagnini did not seek, or obtain sexual gratification from reaching into a suspect’s rectal area.

 

I know I wrote the above paragraph, and I’ve read it several times, and it’s based on the story by the Journal-Sentinel, and I know that the Assistant District Attorney believes what she said, but in my unbridled opinion; where in the hell is she coming from, how and where can she base that opinion on?

 

It appeared to me as if everybody was kind of painting Vagnini as an unassuming innocent police officer who was trying his damndest to curb drug use and drug dealers. The D.A. also stated that she felt that Vagnini did not target suspects by race…..well, what color is Vagnini, or those three other officers, and what color are the defiled suspected druggies, they’re easy to spot in a police line-up, they’re black, and…..that they are the ones that have trouble sitting down!

 

The verdict and related admonishment by the judge, Jeffrey Wagner to Vagnini sounds almost like a grade school Principle addressing a 5^th grade kid who can’t stay out of trouble on the playground. If it wasn’t so tragic, it would actually be funnier then hell. I mean…..come on, according to Vagnini; he thought he was within the law when he had a suspect drop his pants and bend over.

 

Wow this guy, a dash cam and an air mail stamp could make him famous, have you ever heard of Tru-T.V. and Worlds Dumbest episodes, its tailor made for a highlight segment. I sure hope somewhere, someway, somebody can get ahold of the tapes, they would be instant classics.

 

Another defense was that the police department wanted their street cops to use these unorthodox searches to embarrass the suspects, some of which were street smart, and toughened by that atmosphere, hummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, I’m not sure, but I would take a wild guess here and say that these suspects don’t know the meaning of embarrassed.

 

DEPARTMENT PROCEDURES AND THE STATE LAW

If nothing else, I’ve learned two things from this incident, never get pulled over by a Milwaukee cop, you just might be pulling over, and pulling down. Can’t trust anybody anymore, nothing seems to be secret; did these cops use plastic gloves during their digging search?

 

The second thing that I learned was the fact that in order for somebody to do a cavity search, a search warrant is necessary. Gee if I wanted to hide something, (in my butt) it better be small, because I’d have to stand around until a warrant was issued…..and at my age, that could truly be a job to complete.

 

Nobody should be surprised by this procedure of search and destroy, hemorrhoids need to be handled with loving care. I don’t have the strength and you don’t have the patience to read through all the illegal crap that police departments routinely break every day.

 

Just keep in mind the fact that a good set of depends should quiet the question of a cavity search, especially if the depends in question are nicely soiled.

 

HAVE A NICE DAY!