THE TROUBLE WITH BULLIES

(Sentara RMH, Green Bay Press Gazette, Calgary Beacon, Frazer Chronicle)

 

Did you ever wonder whatever happens to those people that bully, we’ve all been bullied, been the brunt of jokes, pushed, punched, or laughed at. Those people that are less fortunate either because they are smaller, slower, quieter, shy, fat, or ugly. I don’t really mean that some in school are actually ugly, they just act differently, don’t have the nicest cloths, they stick out because they are different.

 

School is where 95% of bullying is encountered; the school grounds of the world are nothing more than testing grounds for aggressive behavior, kids check to see how far they can go with abrasive attitudes and activity. I’m not sure that the process is necessary for kids to grow into man or women hood, but I do know it goes on every single day of a typical school year.

 

I was bullied during my grade school and some of my high school years, for me it was traumatic and it affected me then, and it affects me today. Being bullied never leaves a person, it was an action that made no sense at the time, and makes no sense today. But the scares are still there, the effects of the impact of the bullying incidents are carried throughout life to the grave.

 

For some being bullied affects a person’s life, their outlook, their decision making will be altered, no matter their position, no matter their abilities…..and will effect reactions and interactions with people throughout their work life.

 

To overcome bullying can be a monumental task, and usually takes professional treatment. Being bullied in the school setting can be absolute, and the victim may not have anywhere to turn for help. No matter where you turn, with the exception of clinical help, somebody finds out and pretty soon, everybody knows, making a bad situation worse.

 

TEACHERS, ADVISORS, COUNSELORS, ADMINISTRATION, OTHER KIDS

Principals, councelors, teachers, advisors and school administrators have very little effect on the bullying problem in today’s school setting…..and they never did. The very first thing that people need to understand about educators is that they are lightweights, could they be any different…..they deal with adolescents every day of their work week. What they say, think, or do is pretty much law, and goes unchallenged; really…..could they be anything but lightweights.

 

Kids are as disconnected as their parents…..could they be any other way? With little exception kids have superficial friends in school, could it be different, kids are growing, searching, and seeking their own identity.

 

A kid that is bullied intensely every day of the school week really has nobody to talk things out with…..unless he is lucky. I had such a person, he saved me, and he was responsible for me coming to grips with who I was, and how to combat the jerks that attempted to bully me.

 

I laughed; Walter told me to use my sense of humor as a combative weapon to turn a bad situation into a comical joke…..and it has worked for me all of my life. If I can’t make somebody laugh, if a particular person doesn’t seem to have a sense of humor, or is devoid of a personality…..that person needs to be avoided at all costs.

 

I have used old Walter’s teaching and advise all of my adult life, and although I never achieved quite the heights that I aspired, I none-the-less reached a pretty high plateau, I achieved almost everything that I tried in my life…..so far.

 

I will admit that times have changed, kids are far more aggressive and vindictive today, bones are broken, shootings, stabbings, and now girls pulling hair and fighting one another until one loses a blouse and brassiere, and you know what flops out.

 

WHAT HAPPENS TO THE BULLIES

I’m not sure what happens to the punks that oppress other kids with their antics and abrasive activity, I am pretty sure that if they continued their attitudes after high school they did get their just deserts, it’s how the world works. I really do wish that I could have been present to see their demise, it would have been sweet.

 

I really only knew a handful of what I would call pathological bullies, you know, people with a penchant to inflect either physical or mental pain on others to gain either approval or their jollies from picking on people.

 

People that bully other kids in a school setting need to be shown the ills of their way, but it usually won’t come from a teacher, administrator, the authorities, or a help group, I remember one particular kid who was my chief antagonizer, he seemed to lay awake at night thinking of crap to pull on me then next day, I really never knew when he slept…..he was really good.

 

Anyway, one day he caught me in a second floor hallway after school and pushed me down a stairwell, one of those marble stair cases with the steel at the edge of the step for traction. I bounced down each step, there were fifteen, and when I hit the bottom step and lay in a heap on the stairwell, I looked up at him, bruised and bloodied, I saw real fear in his eyes, and I knew I had him.

 

George never said a word, I got myself to me feet, climbed those fifteen steps and told him if he ever screwed with me again I’d f--- him up any way possible, so he’d better grow a pair of eyes in the back of his head cause he would never know which way I was coming from. It was the last time he ever screwed with me…..and come to think of it…..it was the last time anybody ever messed around with me.

 

My point is simple, people who get picked on need to take care of business almost on their own, what’s the worst that can happen, I’ll tell you, death…..but how often does that happen from a bully, after all they are, by design cowards…..and have a hell-of-a lot more problems than the kid who is being bullied.

 

Parents can be supportive; parents need to get next to school administrators with the authority to keep an eye on things. But school teachers, administrators, or councilors have little or no clue on how to deal with the bullying problem that they face each and every day of their work-week.

 

Kids will be kids, and boys will be boys…..and now I guess girls will also be girls, mostly they need to sort out their own problems. Most kids aren’t really what they seem to be, mostly their just mixed up, searching for the answers to life…..something that ends up being a life-long journey for all of us to varying degrees.

 

HAVE A NICE DAY