The questions are accompanied with obvious answers, the reasons for the statements are self evident, and are entire process is an attempt to stroke a sense of humor, not only for the Email readers, but the sender probably the most.
People use games all the time to nudge their spirits, to make their minds occupy another part of their brain, to go to a place where reality doesn't really exist, where abstract replaces the black and white of everyday living. It's a place where everybody can be a star, where nobody can do whatever they want, where mistakes never happen.
In an article that appeared in the Los Angeles Times, titled "It's Only a Job to Pro Athletes," many professional sports fans had their dreams and their perceptions of their local hero's dashed upon the rocks of reality, these "local" athletes clear out their lockers, grab their cloths and hop a jet plane to warmer climates, and.....home.
It isn't like it used to be, where professional sports figures stayed in the communities where they played their games. There weren't any agents, there was no "agenting" to do, professional players weren't looking for tax shelters, and they were looking for off season employment to keep their "boat floating."
50 years ago, many a professional player lived next door to a regular factory worker, or a plumber, or a carpenter. Although professional players tended to stay in a somewhat close knitted circle, they did buy groceries at the local super market, get gas at the neighborhood filling station, and "tip a few" with whoever at the local tavern.
Professional athletes years ago were more accessible, were more grounded, not only to their team and team-mates, but the fans. The happiest day for most present day pro players is the last day of the season, win or lose, the job is done, the pain is over, and everybody is on vacation, could anything be more perfect?
I was a baseball player, or 4th or 5th rate ball player, but I none the less took the game, "my game," serious. After the last out, the last fly, or ground out, or strike out, I would break down and cry, cry because in the early days of my baseball career the last game was a loss.
Losses hurt me, I was consumed, there was a fire in my belly, I would do anything to win a ball game, but I learned that a passion such as I had will not only burn out, it will burn you out. I finally had to come to the understanding that it was just a game, a game where grown men chased a little white ball dressed in pajamas.
Here in Green Bay, Packer players lived in "Packer neighborhoods" but those days are long past, the Packer players of today jet hither and yon on their days off during the season, taking care of business, or visiting family and friends.
Just be thankful that today's players can "devote" enough of their time to practice and play the game for us, the fan. Sports fans today seem to live and die with their sports teams, talking about how "we won, or lost a game." For whatever reason, I have always had a hard time saying "we" with regards to a sports team that I watch. I'm not a part of any team, just a fan, I can't run, field, or throw, I don't block or catch, and it's for damn sure that I don't dunk.....I watch, and root.
And to Buttons questions, why, why, why, I have the following answers:
Q. Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?
A. It's usually men doing the pressing.....case closed.
Q. Why do banks charge a fee due to insufficient funds when they already know you’re broke?
A. Because most who over-draw on their account(s) are low life losers....."according to banker thinking."
Q. Why is it that when someone tells you that there are one billion stars in the universe, you believe them but, if they tell you there is wet paint, you have to touch it?
A. This one's easy, "you can't touch the sky."
Q. Why do they use sterilized needles for lethal injections?
A. Again this is an easy answer, "they don't," they use the same one until it's so dull it won't pierce the skin.
Q. Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
A. Because he's using Steroids.
Q. Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
A. I often wondered that myself.....and have no answer, maybe Superman is a fake.
Q. Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
A. Photo ops.
Q. Whose cruel idea was it to put an "s" in the word "lisp"?
A. "How the hell do I know, that's really a dumb question."
Q. Do people like the smell of their own farts?
A. Absolutely.
Q. If people evolved from Apes, why are there still Apes?
A. Quality assurance checkers.
Q. Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use, the bubbles are always white?
A. My poor Buttons, they aren't, you don't take the time to examine them closely enough.
Q. Is there ever day that mattresses are not on sale?
A. Absolutely, Christmas and New Years day.
Q. Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the first end you try?
A. fricken clue," but if anybody finds out why, PLEASE let me know.
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