TO SAG OR NOT TO SAG, THAT IS THE QUESTION!

(Green Bay Press Gazette, Wis. Up North)

(Katie Kozak, Inquirer, Weird Wide Web, WSFA 12 News)

(Fayobserver.com, USA TODAY, Frazer Chronicle)

 

Green Bay, Wisconsin Alderman Dave Boyce, who looks like a decorated veteran Air Force retiree, (he seems to have the hat to prove it), wants to clean up the city with regards to what people are allowed to wear while walking the streets. It’s not a question of body appendages being in sight, or in most cases, (unsightly), no, not at all, it has to do with what people wear.

 

You might think that this is a silly ridge to pitch your tent on to do battle…..over an issue, but good old Alderman Boyce doesn’t see it that way, or more to the point, doesn’t want to see it at all. And he’s already got a plan to collect fines for what he figures is unsightly, $25 for a first offense, and as high as $200 for repeat offenders.

 

I think we should put good old Dave in a proper perspective, and remember, Boyce is not related to former Senator John Kerry, the current Secretary of State. Remember when Kerry voted for and then against the same issue, Kerry said he “misunderstood the issue at first.”

 

Alderman Boyce initially voted to allow Green Bay city department heads to live outside the city limits if they so desired, and then, ops, he wanted a do-over. Boyce not only voted once to allow the move, but twice. “The vote just came…..bang,” Boyce said. “I told several people that I was going to vote the opposite way that it came out.”

 

Sorry Dave, but that last part of you answer just doesn’t make a lick of sense; maybe you should re-think your answer…..as well as your vote? It seems as if Alderman Boyce has had these issues in the past, possibly, and I’m just spit balling here, the senior citizen looking veteran should think about that old retirement home for relic flyers.

 

Another sign that the good Alderman should possibly put his wings on permanent dry-dock was his take in May about the issue of sober servers at Green Bay taverns and restaurants. City cops wanted some sort of regulation or rule enactment that dictated bartenders not drink with patrons. The issue was actually an argument about an age old tradition.

 

The issue was tabled, but not before good old Dave Boyce got in his quarters worth, “the next step is for the owners to stiffen up”.  They’re going to come together, and they’re going to stiffen up, and they’ll say, “This is real life.”

 

Again, on the understand –O- meter, (what did you just say), stiffen up, what does that mean, doesn’t stiff mean a bit inebriated? I don’t care Dave, you’re still my idol, any sixty something guy who runs around in a military baseball cap can’t be all bad.    

 

LATEST EDITION OF THE DAVE BOYCE EXPERIENCE

Now Alderman Boyce would like to become the top cop for outer wear that is allowed in Green Bay, I’m not sure if it’s just downtown, or throughout the city. But here it is, an exclusive here at Chronicle headquarters…..are you ready, no more saggy-baggy pants!

 

That’s right, those disgusting, silly pants that kids wear down around the bottom of their butt crack, and their underwear hanging out above the Mendoza line. And for girls it’s even worse, I’m sure there could be some kind of medical injury connected with how girls…..and young women wear thongs that must be jammed so far up…..well you know where I mean, but there must be a injury involved.

 

Is it unsightly, absolutely, should cooler heads prevail, of course, is it an embarrassment to the city of Green Bay…..certainly you jest, of course not. Come on Alderman, get a grip, these kinds of pants, and butt crack hugging thongs are everywhere, New York, Chicago, Hollywood, and Pulaski, Wisconsin.

 

Obviously Dave, you don’t agree with them and neither do I, most reasonable people think there unsightly, stupid and probably a rebel statement…..you know Dave, like long hair or freedom and anti war marches.

 

Believe it or not Dave, these pants don’t hurt anybody, except some of the ignorant parents who buy their kids the stupid pantaloons, their wallets will be considerably lighter, and these pants can cost a pretty penny I’ve discovered.

 

SAGGY’S ARE BEING ATTACKED

It’s true, Wildwood, New Jersey enacted an ordinance banning the saggy’s, as did  Albany, Georgia who in fact realized more than $4000 in penalties. Greenville, North Carolina, Dunn, Alabama, and Richmond, Virginia.

 

I’d like to know where the NRA stands on the issue, or what about the ACLU, or the NAACP, or isn’t the issue that big a deal? Laughing and kidding all aside, to be serious, when a story about outlawing baggy, saggy pants, or thongs appears in the same newspaper as the Zimmerman trial does…..I might be time for all of us to take a reality check!

 

HAVE A NICE DAY!